“Oh hey, have you met my tits?”
The State Of The Union
My fellow Americans, we are living in a time of great crisis. An insidious wave made from the most basic struggles of the human condition has crashed into our beloved world of fitness. Refrain from pointing the finger at the yoga pants distracting you from your set of pull-ups, the backless female athletic tops which can hardly claim to possess a front either, or even the most dangerous nothing-but-a-sports-bra wearing squatter who will cry perversion at even the slightest prolonged glance.
No friends, these minor complications are not the problem, simply the consequence of the source. Social media has murdered fitness.
“But SMB, I happen to like yoga pants.”
Trust us, bro, we all do; however, this crisis runs deeper than those lycra tights…much deeper. Our current state of emergency finds its root in psychology.
What drives one to take a selfie? Or better yet, what drives one to chronically take selfies? The answer is far more simple than one would think and can be summed up with “Low Self Esteem”. The constant need for self-affirmation has been around as long as homo sapiens. However, never to this degree.
We would suggest that the development of social media has skyrocketed the number of thirsty fitness hoes to untold thousands (millions?). In the spirit of equality, closely trailing this number is the number of gym bros snapping shameless selfies, who’s grandparents are rolling in their graves and are probably second guessing every parenting decision they ever made.
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It’s All Fun and Games Until…
This all just sounds like harmless daddy issues until you actually put down the phone, log out of Instagram and think. The true casualties of social media fitness amateurs are the young people. We say social media amateurs due to the fact that there are in fact reputable and qualified authorities on Instagram, YouTube, and Facebook. You can recognize them by the fact they’re wearing actual clothes and use multi-syllabic words. Ex: Layne Norton, Dr. Jacob Wilson, and Dr. Rhonda Patrick (she’s got the nutrition game strong).
Not too many years from now, the aforementioned young people are going to be on dialysis with most likely enlarged hearts, brutalized livers, and a metric f*ck ton of 20/20 hindsight. The message that’s being shot out of the social media cannon is the gospel of appearance.
Spurred on from the messages of those like Rich Piana, Jeff Seid (photoshopping his already “perfect” physique), and countless bodybuilders stalking the byways of the internet, these ambitious kids are shooting up anabolics like it’s going out of style. Teenagers and those in their twenties (even thirties) have no business altering their endocrine system like they actually understand biochemistry. This may sound like your dad telling you to stop smoking so much weed, but hopefully, you’ll thank us later. For the record, weed gets far more bad press than it deserves.
So What Now?
We’re glad you asked. Similar to the source of the problem, the solution is almost as simple. Change who you follow. Deep down everyone knows the singular reason these Instagram models/nutritionists acquire likes is by showing as much skin to the world as possible. They don’t know a damn thing about nutrition. Chances are, they couldn’t even explain the Krebs Cycle, let alone spell Bioenergetics. It’s not our fault their dads didn’t hug them enough.
Give your support to real scientists. The ones putting in the almost thankless hours researching physiology, metabolism, and unique training modalities are those who can benefit you. Sure, they may not be wearing a sports bra and volleyball shorts, but there’s always the option of having a real girlfriend who can wear that shit for you.
Listening to those with deep set emotional issues will only get you deep set emotional issues. Instead of watching Boston Loyd slowly kill himself on a live stream, go eat some eggs and work harder.