5 Reasons Why You Should NOT Date a Bodybuilder

Sorry babe, I gotta hit the gym first

Many men get into bodybuilding to develop their dream physique. They have an idea in their head as to what they should look like, and dammit, they’ll do anything to make that dream a reality. Even if that means becoming obsessed, distancing themselves from friends and family, or even letting romantic relationships crumble in order to obtain the image they so desperately crave.

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While there are men out there who are so physique-goal oriented they let themselves become isolated from healthy relationships, there are just as many, if not more bodybuilders who want to develop amazing bodies simply to get some hot poon. Now, before we continue, it should be noted that this is not going to be an inspirational, articulate, or even a mature article. This is going to be a whirlwind of expletives and straight up silliness. So, sit back and enjoy. This is the top five reasons why women should NOT date bodybuilders.

5. The Gym Comes First

We’ll start off with the obvious. Hardcore bodybuilders treat the gym as a temple; they feel they must attend frequently and for long periods of time to appease the iron gods. This is fine for the single man, but when one is in a relationship, it’s hard to find a partner who is willing to put up with coming in second to the gym. And you better believe, if your woman is always coming in second, eventually you won’t be coming at all.

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A woman has needs, and often times those needs are time-sucking sh!t portals to the no-fun-no-gains zone. We’re talking about boring ass trips to stores that sell overpriced candles, brunch with non-lifting “friends,” and dates that require one to sip gain-sapping wine while painting ugly trees with a bunch of other miserable couples.

This is terrible for many reasons: it causes resentment on the man’s part due to feeling forced to skip the gym, partaking in diet ruining foods, and generally being bored as hell. This isn’t the woman’s fault of course. But, if a man wants to be in a relationship, he must learn to share his time. Otherwise, he’ll just end up as an over-sized, tiny blue ball having c*ck knocker.

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4. Food Dictates the Direction of the Day

That’s right, bodybuilders plan out their days according to when and what they are going to eat; this doesn’t even count gym time. So, if you are a lady planning a day trip with your muscle-bound boyfriend, be prepared to deal with an array of questions about food.

This is especially irritating when you plan events that don’t deal with food but take a good bit of time. For instance, just picture the embarrassment you’d feel when you are on a date watching a lengthy classical music orchestra, and you look over to see your man chomping down on the foot-long sub he smuggled into the music hall. And you just know all the snobby, sophisticated rich people are staring at this disgusting swine of a man you brought with you.

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It’s not just watching him stuff his face at inappropriate times that pisses off woman, it’s the fact they know they must let him, or he’ll become an angry, irritable, insufferable d!ckhead who completely ruins the date. So, it’s more or less a lose-lose situation. He either eats disgustingly large amounts of food every few hours, or he goes into a Hulk-like rage and possibly causes a scene. It’s probably just a good idea to always have a meal planned in the middle of the date.

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