Utilized properly, the gym is one of the finest hunting grounds for the well prepared cocksman. There exists a plethora of opportunities and an instantaneous common ground, “You like working out? Me too! Sex?” Keep in mind that you’ll need to be on your A-Game when trying to pick up women at the gym. It often has a higher level of difficulty then your typical 2 AM drunken hornswoggle, however the results can be far more rewarding.
Location, Location, Location
(Maverick: This is what I call a target rich environment. Goose: You live your life between your legs.)
The location of the facility is of the utmost importance. In our experience, local talent levels vary widely. We find that higher income areas with lots of young professionals tend to have the hottest chicks. Areas near college campuses are also good for locating scattered ass. Get the inside scoop on where the hired guns workout. Often time’s, corporate gyms will have discount membership agreements with local talent pools such as strip clubs or professional cheerleading squads. Timing is important as well, at any gym there are two primary timeframes you are looking to hit: The right after work crowd, and whenever yoga lets out.
The 7 Commandments of Gym Pickup
1. Thou Shall not target the obnoxious attention whores.
You will find this specimen strategically positioned on the Stairmaster, rhythmically climbing ever so seductively. Decked out in skin tight yoga pants, perfume, and makeup, more often than not she also has a magnificent ass. These kinds of girls are expecting direct solicitations, and in fact relish the shoot down. Counter-intuitively, it’s often the more reserved, conservatively dressed girls who will crumble under the onslaught of a talented technician. It is a myth that only the skanks are DTF. Good girls will jump into the sack just as fast with the right dude spitting the right game. Eventually, you will notice that all the real dimes go to the gym incognito to avoid the extra attention anyway.
2. Thou shall make your workout, not the girl, your priority.
Women do not want to be the center of a man’s existence. They in fact want to subordinate themselves to a worthy man’s life purpose, to help him achieve that purpose with their feminine support, and to follow the path he lays out. The gym is a microcosm of this theory in action. Make it clear that you are there to get your pump on, and get out. Any coincidental conversation is merely that, pleasant coincidence.
A note on group exercise classes:
Don’t go to the yoga class if you have no interest in yoga. Go to yoga class because you want to improve your flexibility, strength, and balance. Don’t be embarrassed to go to yoga class. If a girl calls you out on this, explain to her that you are, “Practicing yoga to improve my flexibility, strength, and balance. So I can experiment with a broader range of sexual positions.”
3. Thou Shall be irrationally self-confident
No matter what your current situation, roll without apology or excuse. Women have an animal instinct for uncovering weakness and insecurity in men; don’t make it easy for them. Self-confidence, warranted or not, triggers submissive emotional responses in women. Irrational self-confidence will get you laid more than rational defeatism. It does not matter if you are not the best option in the gym; what matters is that you think and act like you are.
4. Thou Shall not overgame
The gym can be a tricky operating environment. If you do plan on going back with your reputation intact, be careful of being overly bold or obnoxious. If there is question, always err on the side of too much boldness, rather than too little. Don’t let a woman’s false indignation at your boldness sway you; they secretly love it when a man aggressively pursues what he wants and makes his sexual intentions known. For an environment like the gym, we recommend first establishing a mutual interest with some light conversation before turning on the sexually suggestive afterburners.
5. Thou Shall be prepared to lead the interaction
It is a careful balance between being natural, and having a plan in mind. The ultimate goal of a gym pickup is to get the number. Tell her what you two are doing, and don’t wait for her decision-making abilities to kick in. A guy who leads a girl everywhere and all the time prevents her from rethinking her desire to sleep with him. Once you establish mutual attraction, get the number, set a plan, and get out.
6. Thou Shall be sociable with everybody
You are far more likely to open converstations successfully if you are observed as a generally friendly and flirtatious man. Talk to everybody, flirt with other women, do not dissuade other women from flirting with you. It will be far less difficult to start a conversation with an attractive woman if you are already in a talkative state. Women will never admit this but jealousy excites them. No girl wants a man that no other woman wants.
7. Thou Shall not lie to yourself
“Dude I’m here to lift, not to creep on girls. That shit is nothing but a distraction.”
-Guy who doesn’t have the personality or the game to meet girls at the gym.
This excuse might hold up if you were a professional bodybuilder, actively training for competition. Everyone goes to the gym for their own personal reasons, but the gym is not a monastery. You are not “harassing” anyone by striking up a quick conversation before or after your workout. The gym is a public arena, and a damn fine place for meeting attractive members of the opposite sex who likely share similar interests. Don’t be a pussy.
Do’s and Don’ts…
- Be the male version of our “Obnoxious Attention Whore”. Trust me, no matter how impressive your 600 lb. deadlift is to your buddies, girls don’t give a shit. Weightroom showmanship is very similar to elaborate facial hair in this regard.
- Ask a girl for a spot.
- Look for stuff to do in ”the girl’s area of the gym.” You better have a game plan if you want to hang around the ellipticals and not look like Buffalo Bill.
- Stare, especially through the mirror.
- Gel your hair.
- Give a sincere compliment if you notice a hot chick doing something genuinely impressive such as unassisted pull-ups or heavy squats.
- Give her shit for not wiping down a machine. I don’t care if you’re dreaming of eating out of her ass later, that’s gym etiquette 101. Don’t be afraid to call her out for doing amateur shit at the gym, if there’s one thing hot girls hate, it’s feeling dumb.
- Take a yoga class. Girls fucking love yoga. Buy a $5 mat and thank your gym for holding classes because you just got laid 5 times in the last 3 weeks by some flexible ladies.
- Not be afraid to wear skintight spandex pants, they are functional, comfortable, and make your package look great. It is a bullshit double standard that only girls and Ronnie Coleman can wear them.
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