Suffering from testicular pain after running? Here are the causes and solutions you really need to know about.
It’s cool to have big throbbing testicles full of testosterone. In fact, as a bro who’s all about lifting weights and nailing honies, it comes with the territory.
But if you’re suffering from pain in your junk after exercise it’s time to sort that issue out right now. Because that sh*ts not normal bro.
Here’s everything you need to know…
Here’s what we’ll cover:
- Testicle facts – what you might not know
- Causes of testicular pain
- Running and testicular pain – the link
All About The Testicles
There are numerous causes of testicular pain. Injury, trauma, a freak accident involving a steaming hot apple pie… maybe the high-heeled hooker you pay to beat you went in a little too hard with the kick to your junk. But that’s your business bro.
You see, your balls are pretty complex machines. They’re oval-shaped organs that hang just below your penis, like a Newton’s cradle made of meat.
They’re main role is to make and store sperm. On average, they grow to be around 2-3 inches long and around an inch in width.
(We’ll wait here just a minute while you check)
You back? Great, let’s carry on.
Animals that are involved in ‘sperm competition’ tend to have larger balls. In other words, those who compete with other males to attract and fertilize the female have larger globes.
That’s probably why a huge pair of swinging testes is seen as a sign of masculinity in dudes. Because it makes you a God damn alpha.
It’s completely normal for one testicle to be bigger than the other
Testicles come in all shapes and sizes.
Just like women are likely to have one tiddy bigger than the other, it’s completely normal for dudes to have one ball bigger than the other.
While most guys have a left testicle that hangs lower, the right one is more likely to be larger in size.[infobox]
Things you didn’t know #114: Humans and sharks often have a larger right testicle. In birds it’s usually the left.[/infobox]
Temperature is important when it comes to healthy balls
Ever wondered why your balls hang low and in a position that forces you to teabag your bro when you’re spotting him on the bench press?
It’s all down to thermoregulation. In other words, heat affects testosterone production.
Although it might seem strange to have your most valuable assets hanging outside of your body while your brain gets to sit like a smug muthaf*cker inside your skull, it’s important that they have their freedom.
Maintaining healthy sperm means keeping your testicles at a set temperature. Too warm and they’ll fry. Too cold and they’ll freeze to death.
That’s why when it’s cold your scrotum pulls your balls into your abdomen – to keep the boys warm. And when it’s nice and warm they hang freely like the the speed bags at your local boxing gym.[infobox]
Things you didn’t know #23: The muscle of your ballsack is called ‘dartos’. With it’s superhero-sounding name it’s the wrinkly muscle of the scrotum that gives your sack its walnut-like appearance.[/infobox]
Testicular Pain Causes – Balls To That
There’s much can go wrong with your junk. And testicular pain can come from a variety of causes, and with a number of other symptoms too.
- Pain in your pelvis or hips
- Tenderness in your testicles
- Redness and heat coming from your scrotum
- Pain during urination
Causes of testicular pain you need to know about
- Injury – a swift football to the nuts or a snap kick to the testes during sparring is never nice.
- Inguinal hernia – a weakness in your abdominal area or groin can cause a tear through which a small part of your bowels literally pops through. This is called a hernia and can be caused through weightlifting, muscle strain or connective tissue weakness.
- Nerve damage or inflammation – a condition called orchitis occurs when bacteria or a virus causes inflammation and pain
- Testicular torsion – if the spermatic cord gets twisted it can be painful. You need to get to your doctors as restricted blood flow to your testicles can cause cell death.
- Epididymitis – this condition occurs when your epididymis (the tube that carriers and stores sperm) becomes inflamed. It’s most common in men under 35 and can be caused by infection or sexually transmitted disease – so keep safe and avoid that raw riding bro.
- Kidney stones – this occurs when crystalized lumps of calcium, uric acid or struvite etc. develop along your urinary tract. This is some painful sh*t too and radiates as ‘referred pain’ to your testicles.
- Degloving – the is the worse one on this list. ‘Degloving’ is when one of your testicles is torn from the scrotum like a glove from your hand. Yep, let’s just hope this one never happens.
Testicular Pain After Running – What Can You Do?
Because of their location between your legs, your testicles are always going to be in a position of potential discomfort. You’ve basically got two high-powered and fast-moving body parts (your legs) swinging ever-closer to your huevos with each stride… one wrong move and you’re in a world of hurt.
Running has always been associated with injuries – whether that’s plantar fasciitis, IT band syndrome, stress fractures and hamstring issues. In fact, research shows that injuries to the groin area during running and other sports are ‘among the most common’ in sports.
If the pain is being caused by torsion or a hernia you’re looking at surgery as the answer to your problems. No matter how much you want to fight it, testicular pain after running caused by these disorders will mean going under the knife.
For other types of pain, it’s more about prevention than the cure…
Opening a bag of worms – Ways to protect your cajones
Much like Iron Man wears a bionic suit to protect himself, it might be time for you to get kitted out with the right gear to protect your balls.
- Suitable underwear – this isn’t the time for going commando. Supportive undergarments that help with ‘scrotal elevation’ will keep those two guys happy and content.
- Pain killers, NSAIDs, and antibiotics – if you’re suffering a dull ache from testicular pain after running, painkillers are a temporary fix. Some disorders such as epididymitis require antibiotics to fix it.
- Rest – it’s common sense. If it hurts, rest it.
- Ice packs – it might not be comfortable to ice your balls, but the cold temperature will help speed up the recovery process.
Summary – Running Pain-Free
There are a number of risks come with regular running – grazed knees, pulled hamstrings and random dog attacks. But swollen cajones or testicular pain after running shouldn’t be one of them.
Make sure you get the right equipment and do all you can to support your most valuable assets while you’re pounding the pavement. Or you run the risk of not being able to pound your woman with your painful junk.
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