Editor’s note: In no way are we condoning steroids, or urging or advising readers to go out and purchase some gainz juice. With that being said, do whatever the f*ck you wanna do.
#beastmode, #doyouevenlift, #killinit, #gainz. You’re probably familiar with these hashtags, as you’ve most likely used them yourself every now and again. However, you’re bound to see them beneath the Instagram photos that you look at on a daily. It’s no secret that gym rats are looking more and more like the figures you would see in a fitness or bodybuilding magazine, which begs the question: How do they do it?
It’s well-established that a good nutritional plan combined with a solid training regime yields positive results; so much that you can land the next cover of Muscular Development? Highly unlikely. You’d have to have a myostatin deficiency to be ballin’ on the covers of bodybuilding magazines right off the bat, or you could take the less-than-legal path and see it takes you.
Truth be told, we’re subjected to hundreds–if not thousands–of pictures a day through Instagram, Facebook, Tumblr (if you’re Leftist like that), and with the use of social media in today’s society, you’re most likely exposed to a gangload of Michelangelo statue-like built physiques, and it could possibly trigger three responses: hating on their pics, you feeling self-consciousness, or it’s motivating as fuar. Regardless of what it might be, you may feel prompted to do something about the way that you look. However, you might have no desire to compete, you just want to look good.
Now, I’m not saying that the protein you bought at your local GNC dealer isn’t working, but there’s a possibility that it’s not. So now you’re thinking, “dang, I need some aminos, pre-workout, fat burners, post-workout, multivitamin…” and so forth. Note: I’m not saying that these supplements aren’t beneficial or don’t work, but if your supplement timing is off, odds are your gains will be too.
You’ve got all these supps, minimal results, you think you eat clean, your training intensity is somewhat respectable, but your results aren’t. What do you do now? You start doing research — research on which testosterone-based hormones are best suited for beginners (your’s might look something more like “steroids for beginners”). And the search result will yield a myriad of pages with cycles listed for the beginner and which steroids to take (most of which is proper bro science — trust me, I’ve done it).
Now that you’ve got a cycle plan and what to use, your next step would be finding a dealer or some website that sells the goods. Bro Tip: Always research the brand you’re about to purchase. Best bet would be a German-manufactured pharmaceutical brand — German’s know their sh*t!
Everything you need is now in your hands; however, your wallet might be a heck-load lighter after all these purchases.
You’re standing there in your room or bathroom, or wherever the hell it is that you feel most comfortable doing what your about to do. And after all the sterilizing is said and done, you draw 3cc’s of Test Enanthate — this is it, the big moment. You jab–but you’re sweating like a gypsy with a mortgage–you realize that it’s only the tip that pierced your flesh — you slowly push the needle in deeper. Finally, you feel your glute twitch (but in your head, it feels like you’ve been stabbed and the knife is being twisted), the needle is in. Time to inject the sweet, sweet juice. That’s the easy part.
After everything that just happened, you think that it went pretty well. So, now it’s time for peptide number two; Tren. You’ve read that combining Tren and Test E are a recipe for monster gainz, and you’re right! But what you failed to know is the immediate possible side-effect of injecting Tren. You follow the exact same steps as with the Test, this time you’re even confident. The needle goes in and it feels like something just snapped. Bro Tip: You might want to finish that shot asap because what’s about to follow might feel like death.
Two minutes go by and you’re finally able to breathe again. “What just happened?” you might ask. I’ll tell you what happened; you, my friend, just survived the dreaded “Tren Cough”. A Tren cough is what happens when you pierce a small blood vessel (the ‘snap’ feeling) and a little Tren makes it into said blood vessel, which agitates your lungs causing you to cough like a madman.
The injections are all done…for now — it’s time to ingest your orals. Your “beginner’s” cycle recommends 60mg’s of Dianabol, 60mg’s of Winstrol and 40mg’s of Anavar. Four weeks into your cycle and your mid-lower back is hurting like a mofo! Again, what your research failed to bring up was that you’re supposed to use liver support supplements along with your oral steroids. Otherwise, you’ll be rushed to the emergency room for liver failure. Not cool, bro.
But let’s pretend that you’ve made all the necessary arrangements and everything went well — you’ve made your gains, you look like you could have any girl at will, you’re striated, shredded, and comic book-esque. What lead you to become what you are now? The healthy lifestyle? The clean foods? Fitness magazines? The answer that you’re looking for might be ‘insecurity’.
Social media, and especially Instagram, has us constantly looking at physiques that only a small percentile can achieve — with or without steroids. So, it either drives us or makes us feel inadequate, leading to various forms of substance use — be it supplements or anabolic steroids.
And the internet, in general, has made it easier for people to get their hands on steroids. It’s easier for you to connect with like-minded folks on forums and social websites, and connections can lead to roid access.